Sharing the joy


At this point, I have been to a few weddings (not counting family weddings at which I was a flower girl). Some have been big affairs in really beautiful churches, almost location weddings, others have been smaller affairs, in also beautiful churches but with a more local feel. Some couples I have known since before they started dating, others I have met as they were preparing their wedding, and in one case, I was instrumental in starting the whole thing by insisting they come to a dinner party I organized. Then came covid and two friends of mine married with just their families present. In this unexpected way, covid reminded us that what matters most in a wedding is the sacrament the couple is celebrating and we, the family and friends, are witnessing. Of late the wedding industry has bloomed, exploded really, with wedding planners offering evermore lavish weddings. Often the stress of it all gets to the couple and people lose sight of what really matters and forget to enjoy each other and the wedding mass. 

Don't get me wrong I like a party, I love to dance, but I feel that a wedding is so much more than a party, the cake, and all that which people think is important. A wedding is the start of a new life and the celebration of the joy this brings, and this is too often lost when the focus is on colour coordination, dresses, the right music, food, and taking just the right group photo. These things have their place but if they aren't there the joy will still be there because that resides at that moment which brings together the couple and makes them into one. As a Catholic, I identify that as a sacrament and the high point of the wedding is the celebration of this sacrament. Preparing for this sacrament brings the couple together in new ways and that is and should be more important than preparing a huge bash. 

Yesterday, I was at the joy-filled, beautiful wedding of two Fisher House members, it was in many ways a small affair, with different members of the community pitching in to help with the food, chanting at mass, speeches, and decorations. But it was precisely this which made it so special. No wedding planner or a lavish party, rather a beautiful mass put together by those that love the couple. They then had dinner with the families and an afterparty with friends. Quite appropriately the party was at Fisher House. Historically weddings were a community affair, celebrating in the parish hall or town hall was fairly common, there is something quite grounded about that. Ground in the reality of everyday life as a symbol of married life. The priest at the mass mentioned how as a community we were called to support the new couple with prayer and whatever else might be needed at any given time. There is something quite beautiful in the idea that we are there to support each other, and keep each other going through the ups and downs of this life.


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